I'm not exempt from mocking

Mom: You know, you already knew how to read in kindergarten.
Me: Then why didn't you let me skip? I always wanted to be a person who skipped a grade!
Mom: You were already the youngest in your grade. Plus, you were kind of immature.
Me: YOU'RE IMMATURE! Shut up!

My secret comes out

I was watching Conan with my mom, and I was laughing hysterically, while she didn't seem amused.

Me: Mom, why didn't you laugh at the masturbating dinosaur joke?
Mom: Dad would have been hysterical. Boys like those jokes.
Me: What about me?
Mom: You're a boy.

Serial Killing Middle Management

Me: Have you seen that show "Dexter"? I really think you'd like it.
Mom: Ugh, you mean that stupid cartoon?
Me: "Dexter's Laboratory"? No, it's about a serial killer.
Mom: Yeah, the guy with the tie. And the boss.
Me: I have no idea what you're talking about.
Mom: You know, it used to be a comic strip.
Me: ...Dilbert?
Mom: Yeah!

Full House

I recently lost some weight, so I told my parents about my diet.

Dad: Well, I just don't want you ending up too thin like those celebrity twins, Ashley and Olsen Judd.